Oct 5
Funny thing about amnesia, you forget almost everything, your body forgets nothing. Your lungs remember how to breathe. Your heart remembers how to beat. Your hands remember how to pull back the slide on a gun so you can be sure there’s one in the chamber. Your legs remember to walk quietly and keep you pressed against the wall making a smaller target when you enter a room. It’s strange the things that don’t leave you, even if you have no idea why you are checking every door, window and peephole in your room to determine every way you could exit quickly, quietly and unseen or anyone else could enter the same way.
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Feb 12
When I finally started to regain my senses I was covered with sweat. I wasn’t a cop and that filthy pig I’d spoken to on the street was a dirty animal on the take, he worked for my boss. I would have said he was worse than me if that was even possible. Something stirred in the background; more memories coming out of the shadows to haunt me? Now I remembered everything from my upbringing to my current downfall. God; how could I have done such things?
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Feb 12
“This is a God fearing house and you will not associate with the likes of them.” She turned around and gave me a smack that made me think I must have fallen out of a second story window head first and hallucinated all this on the way down. From there everything became a blur, the same voice the same face, sometimes comforting, usually pretty angry; “do not steal”, “do not kill”, “God have mercy on my grandson”
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Feb 12
The morning was spent driving around town aimlessly. I was looking for something but I didn’t know exactly what. Every street, every corner drugstore had just enough of a ring of familiarity to set my mind on fire, pounding against a concrete wall that never quite gave. Around noon I decided to get something to eat and pulled in to a greasy spoon diner that looked like it the food may have been as much of a crime as whatever it was I had done.
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Feb 12
The van began to move again almost before I noticed I was pressing down on the accelerator and my passenger stirred in the back. I didn’t know who the men I was driving away from were or why I had killed them, or even how considering they outnumbered me four to one. I went over a checklist in my mind to make sure I had everything I needed.
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